I mean, obviously, if someone’s about to cut someone’s finger off with garden shears, say something, or at least remove the offending weapon, but really, if you’re really angry, you can feel it building up, wanting to punish someone. Stop. Shouting, threatening, smacking… it’s not going to work. The release of pressure might make you feel relief for a second or two, but it really isn’t going to make them see the error of their ways.
Here is a go to list of quick things to try instead. Next time you feel your eyes about to pop, or your muscles tense up, just try one. Go on, just once. I dare you.
– Offer some help. “Can I help you?”
– Offer a hug. “Do you feel like a hug right now?”
– Just say yes. “Yes, we can go outside and jump around. Yes, I can put some lipstick on you. Yes, I can paint with you.”
– Sit on the floor and flick through some picture books.
– Feel the voice in you saying “This must stop”, but direct it at your anger instead of the kids. Then try to react rationally.
– Try some of these. 31 Phrases Every Mom Should Say from Our Vintage Life
More to come!