Today in my weekly meditation class I learned that my patience is not tested, it is created. I learnt that when you grit your teeth and say nothing, this is not patience. Patience is accepting the situation as it is and being ok with that.
I also, very interestingly learnt that being a virtue, patience must be practiced, learned and formed. It isn’t just a part of our nature by default. To develop it we have to practice it, to improve the habit of being patient and to become accomplished at using it in all manner of situations.
So, it is my conclusion then, that when one of my kids (this one in particular) is flaring up, what she is really doing is forcing me to practice my patience, to become better at it, because I won’t get better at it without practice. She’s strengthening my habit of staying calm and being patient. How kind of her. Seriously. How fantastic that I have this little teacher in my house, day in, day out, so that I can become a kind and patient person.
Oh, and the added bonus is that by staying calm and patient with her, I am modelling patience, so that perhaps in a very different way I can be her teacher too.